A Beautiful Life

Well, today was my Papa's funeral. We lost him last Thursday evening. All of this happened so fast and it has been such a trying time for our family. None of us were prepared for this at all. (Not that you ever really are!) My cousin Ivy got up and spoke at the funeral and she did such a wonderful job. There are so many great things to say about our grandfather and she thought of many great memories. The past few days I have been drifting back to my childhood quite often and remembering some of the good times.

Sitting on Papa's lap in his recliner late at night while he rubs my back and we watch Perry Mason, even though I am supposed to be in bed already.

Riding in his old pickup truck with oldies on the radio and a bag of donut holes in my lap. He always bragged to his buddies at the donut shop how great all his grandkids were and we sure did love going along!

Sharing "hot" tamales at Trader's Village. The spicier the better, that's how Papa liked em.

Eating strawberries out of the patch at the old house.

Ivy and me sneaking out of bed during the night to "sample" the extracts and getting scared to pieces when Papa snored. It was so loud!

Playing with the hand held poker machine that was always next to his and grandma's chair.

Helping with the fried turkey every year at Thanksgiving. I swear he invented it!

And finally, seeing the love in his eyes when he held Astraea the day she was born. Him and Grandma were the first to get there to see her and that meant so much! I feel so lucky that he had a chance to meet her. I can't wait to tell her all about him.

Papa, I could never ask for a better grandfather, confidant, hand holder and supporter, provider, and just all around wonderful man. Thanks for being a part of my life! I love you!

Life changes...

Well, something has been going on in our lives for a couple of weeks. I guess I have been afraid that if I write about it, it would seem more real. My Papa, Emmitt Perry, went into the hospital two weeks ago. He was complaining that he felt short of breath. They spent several days trying to figure out what was causing it, and ended up calling in five specialists. Finally, five days later the oncologist found cancer on his lungs. It took several more days to find out what kind of cancer it is. It is a rare form called neuroendicrine cancer and is often found on the lungs or pancreas. The problem with this is that it is very slow growing and most people don't know they have it until they start to see complications from it. Like my papa. It started causing fluid to fill up around his lungs and they were having to drain it every few days. They inserted a port in his chest to do chemo, but after the first treatment his kidneys and heart were starting to fail. They wanted to put him on a ventilator and do dialysis. My grandmother said no at first. He had been trying to tell her he didn't want all of this stuff. She knows that he doesn't want machines to live for him. The doctors said that this was not a long term option. They just wanted to see if they could get his kidneys going again and let his body rest for long enough to help the chemo work. But, the dialysis has been going for almost 48 hours now and his kidneys are not working on their own at all. The doctors feel that after 72 hours of this they cannot do anything else. It will not be worth putting him through anything more. Right now, I am starting to accept that this is the end. But, it hurts and I am scared for my grandma. They have been together since she was 14! She told me yesterday that this is the first time in 15 years that she has slept alone in this house. I am praying for God to give her strength to make it through this, and for all of us to be support for her in this time.

Firsts

Astraea is getting so big! Every day she learns or does something new. The last two weeks we have been introducing some veggies. Last weeks she had peas, which were "not bad". And this week carrots, which we "awesome". She usually only eats about two tablespoons of rice cereal and she LOVES it. So, I was surprised when she ate almost the whole jar of carrots. Every time I tried to stop she got mad at me. I will try to post pics of her "carrot face" soon.
She is also rolling over a lot better now. She mostly rolls from her belly to her back, and she can roll the other way, but she doesn't see the point. She hates being on her belly. I think she will be sitting up on her own pretty soon. She is strong enough she just has to figure out the coordination issue. We are moving soon and I am a little nervous that it will throw off our sleep schedule and everything. I know it will definitely be an adjustment.

Phone pics

Sleeping in mommy's spot. Her favorite place.

All dressed up. Mommy please stop with the pictures!

Tiny tiny Astraea

Our little diva!

Happy New Year!

Our little eighties girl.

Moving on!

Well, it was a good weekend. Astraea is still sleeping pretty well. We finally found a house and put down a deposit. So, she will finally have a nursery. We can't wait to have a little more space for all of her stuff. This little apartment is full. Daddy's birthday was yesterday. We didn't really get to celebrate cause we are BROKE. But, we plan on doing it once we get our money back from taxes. He did get an ipod from his mom and it's yellow. He loves it! Well, gotta go change a poopy diaper. More later...

Angel baby

Well, after posting about what a nightmare Astraea was being things seemed to look up. She slept 8 hours (not straight through of course) on Thursday night and 8 hours again last night. Wow! I really felt refreshed on Friday. It's funny how much a few extra hours of sleep can matter. Today she took extra long naps and even an additional one!?! What is going on? It's like she goes through these phases, no sleep for a couple of days or even weeks and then lots of sleep for a couple of days or weeks. Wierd. She also started this new laugh yesterday. It is like she is just cracking herself up. She will cackle for like 30 seconds! So cute! Her rash looks much better, but you can still feel it. Her skin feels rough almost. I hope that will go away soon.

Rough day

It has been a really rough day for Mommy and Astraea. Babygirl didn't want to sleep last night. She probably slept a total of 4 hours and then not even 2 all day today. Needless to say, both her and mommy were very grouchy all evening. She wears herself out and then she just cries and cries and throws fits. I ended up crying right along with her because I was so frustrated and tired. Plus, I have been dieting so add in some intense hunger. Recipe for disaster! After her bath I tried to get her to eat and go to sleep but she refused both. So, I put her in the crib and stood there while she threw a fit for 20 minutes. She makes herself all sweaty and chokes, etc... But, I did not pick her up. I kept holding her hand and patting her head and talking softly to her to try to calm her down, but I wanted her to know that she was going to stay in the crib. Finally, she wore herself out and started to wimper instead of scream. I eventually was able to give her the binky and she finally let her eyes close. Whew! What a day. I am so glad that it is over! Praying for a better one tomorrow. No matter how tough it is I still feel blessed that she is in my life. My precious angel. On a good note: she is now rolling over. I got it on video today so Daddy could watch it. He was so excited to see it when he got home. It's nice that he gets as excited as I do about her milestones. It's so fun to watch her grow and learn.

Silly girl!

I am really ANGRY at blogger right now. This is the third time that I have typed a long paragraph and had it give me an error when publishing. It makes it really hard to keep up with blogging when it erases everything and you have to go back and retype it. I just don't have that kind of time.

Astraea is really starting to mock us a lot more. We have always stuck out our tongues at her and blew raspberries to make her laugh. ( I am not sure what it is called, but making noises with your lips and tongue.) Now she is doing it too. She smiles and giggles and blows bubbles. Sometimes she uses it to get Daddys attention when he is playing his game. It is so cute. She is also making a lot of new noises. We are really excited to see what words she says first.

Mommy is on a new diet. It is day 6 and so far is incredibly hard. I have 30 pounds to lose and would like to do it by June or July. I know if I do I will feel much better, but it won't be easy. I hate dieting and working out. This time I have some support from some girls from my mom's board. DFWArea Moms. A couple of friends and I are also blogging about it here if anyone is interested. www.losingwnilanstarla.blogspot.com

Silly girl!

Astraea has started mocking us a lot more! We always stuck out our tongues at her and blew raspberries with our lips (not sure if that is what it called). Now she is doing it. All the time! She will smile and giggle and blow bubbles. She even uses it to get Daddys attention when he is playing his video game. She looks so cute when she does it and it sounds really funny. She is also making a lot of new noises. We can't wait to see what she will say first! The rash looks much better but is not completely gone. I think it must have been the detergent that my mom uses. At least we know to be more careful with her clothes and blankets. Mommy has been on a new diet, today is day 6. It is SO hard, but definitely necessary. I have 30 pounds to lose and hope to do it by June or July. A friend and I have another blog about that. www.losingwnilanstarla.blogspot.com

A new year!

Well, so far the year is going pretty well. Astraea is still having trouble sleeping through the night but we are reworking our schedule to try to figure out what works for her. Yesterday we noticed a red spot on her belly with bumps. We thought maybe it had something to do with switching diapers. (We bought a package of Luvs to see if they would be okay.) But, today is has spread up and is all over her chest and belly. It doesn't seem like the diaper would be the culprit since it isn't on her booty or legs. I am not sure what it could be...I don't know if it is bothering her, she does seem a little fussier this morning, but it's hard to tell why. She goes to the doctor next week for her 4 month shots, so if it doesn't get any better (or any worse) before then, we will ask about it.